The greatest misfortune

Can there be a greater misforunte than being misunderstood without being given a chance to explain?It's like "You are an idiot,you are a rogue,you are a criminal and... ....no,no, don't try talking.If you try giving explanations, the sword hanging over your head will fall and kill you". Are yaar,ye kyaa hai?

It is likely that people misunderstand actions and words.After all the world is so complex,languages so profound,and people are so intransigent that misinterpretations and misunderstandings are regular occurences.No harm till then.

But the problem snowballs when explanations are denied.May be some one is really at fault,but atleast oneshould be given a chance to explain what the circumstances were that led one to that situation.And the greatness of a person lies in understanding this and (may be,in trying to)forgive the culprit.

Not all crimes can be forgiven,but at the same time there is no crime that isn't worth giving the accused a chance to plead.I am not talking of those "organised crimes" where motives are as clear as a day.I am talking about "emotion driven mistakes" which the law calls crime.It's really difficult to find fault in such situations, where even the jury would have done the same thing as the accused.

Emotion-a "boon" or "curse", I can't tell for sure.After all, it's emotion that makes a father happy at the antics of his child,it's emotion that makes your sister/brother the most lively person on the earth[sorry, single children],it's emotion that drives a granny to pamper her grandchild.I think it's not improper to attribute the orderliness in today's world ,to an extent to emotion.

At the same time it's emotion that drives people mad in certain situations.It's emotion that supresses equanimity,it's emotion that leads to hate and dislike among people.Hence,it is the very same emotion ,that also leads to disorderliness in the world.

The final word is always the same."There can be no light,without darkness.There can be nothing good,without bad.There can be no coin with just one side.And last but not the least,there can be no emotion without commotion".

I am a coward

I am a coward.Yes, I am.

I am afraid of being called a badboy, that's why I don't resort to mischief.

I am afraid of breaking rules, so I remain disciplined.

I am afraid of being called selfish ,that I do some things though they trouble me.

I am afraid of being termed eccentric, that I refrain myself from simple joys,which please me immensly.

I am afraid of an accident,that's why I speed only on my bicycle.

I am afraid of speaking my heart out, so that I may not hurt others,as well as invite trouble.

God,grant me courage.

And I think I am a sage,that I don't do many a thing that are common.May be its human psychology.No one accepts that he is a coward.So this fear manifests itself in the form of "hate".

Now, I hate all the above said things.And that's why I don't do them.

I am not a coward,but a man with lot of commonsense.

I didn't know

At first, I didn't know many things in this world. This first can be any thing.I still don't know what this first really is..

I didn't know that there would be joy more wonderful than rain accompanied by the beautiful rainbow,than the music of rain drops trickling through leaf tips,than the sweet fragrance of soil that welcomes the rain.

I didn't know how one can be elated and be extremely ebullient about something, even if it is just a dream.

I didn't know that life could more joyous when you have someone to think of you, rather than being alone.

I didn't know how all those great poets are made out of common men.

On the other hand, I also didn't know that there are other things in the world apart from happiness and joy.

I didn't know that life could be more miserable than being stranded all alone on an island.

I didn't know that one can experience hell directly on earth with just one dream being ripped in bud.

I didn't know that all the elements of nature which support life can also debilitate one with nostalgia.

I didn't know that there could be a bigger failure in life than what?.I dont know.

I didn't know that there are other parameters in this world, weighted greater than sincerity and commitment.

I didn't know that there would be people whom you believe to be friends,but are totally unworthy of sharing any of your joys or sorrows.

I didn't know that seeking help could harm more than actual destruction, and sink you down into a deep quagmire.

I didn't know that people would believe you to be still immature even in the third year of your graduation.

I didn't know that you will have to supress your feelings(and sneezes too), just because you are in a cultured society.

And I still don't know a lot many things.

I still don't know how to understand people.

I still don't know how to prove that I am believable.

I still don't know how to prove my commitment.

I still don't know how to establish that I am differently different,though I know that I am.

I still don't know what other things are there in this world that I need to know.

My Ramaiah days-4(Beginning of the Dark Days)

The first week passed almost with out any other incident.At first everything was normal, but after some fifteen days or so,I started feeling home sick.On the second sunday, after a test I came back home and told my I uncle that I wanted to leave.I told him that I was unable to follow anything taught there and that I wanted to drop off.It was normally said and my uncle didn't mind.[It had already been "explained" to parents by Mr.Ramaiah that, most of the students will not be able to follow what is being taught there for some three months.Thanks.]He thought that it was a casual outburst of homesickness.So he did nothing in particular to pacify me.

Thus started the darkest days of my life.I felt more and more home sick and the desire to go home snowballed.I thought of nothing but of my home in Ponnur, my friends and everything associated with my life there.Even people very distantly know to me in Ponnur seemed to be my closest friends.

Hyderabad started appearing gloomy day by day.Everything there looked scary and dull. Sorry to my Hyderabadi friends, but I started despising the city with all my heart. I knew no moment of happiness there for two long years.All I knew in life was gloom and sorrow.Nothing else.

I also had a problem adjusting with those city people.That a city is so unwelcoming to an young villager [I am one,for mine was a very small town]troubled me a lot.People so busy with their jobs,rushing on their daily business,without a moment to hear to someones woes[I don't blame them,for I am able to comprehend now].I didn't even have friends to whom I could pour out all my sorrows.I suppressed everything and lifelessly went about.I lost my ebullient self.

May be my mother,for that matter anyone who had known me earlier would have made out the difference in my behaviour.But since I was new to the people there, no one noticed.And the fact that no one was bothered about me[I pictured so]troubled me still more.