9.12 (How Sri Vallabha got shelled, bumped and frustrated)

I started writing this on the sixth day of placements, after getting frustrated with my performance in GDs and interviews. I retain the lines I first wrote, to give you a picture of how I felt, then.

“Six days gone and yet, not a sign of it coming. I am not writing this in pain but in frustration. Not the typical feeling of “How did this happen to me?” but the feeling “Why did this happen to me?” Do I deserve this situation? May be I do!”

On the first day was a consulting company’s test; the questions were more on probability than programming, but I got kicked out of the first shortlist. The fact that only computer science students were short-listed gave me solace. Next was S****, the only tech company I could ever think of getting in. There was an orientation session on the evening of the first day, and the PPT hall was more than full. We sat with our legs pressed against the chairs before us, listening to the way the interview was to proceed the next morning.

Mine was the first slot on the next day. I woke up at five am, prayed God, and swallowed some biscuits I bought the previous evening from Gurunath, dressed and ran to the placement office by 6.30am. It was still dark and only one other guy was present when I went there. The case study was lengthy and before I could sort out all the papers, I had to go for an interview. It went decent and then there was an interview about my summer internship. The GD was okay too, and I felt that I can’t do it any better. After six hours of wait, and infinite prayers, I found that almost everyone else made it, except me. I rode back to my room, speaking to my mother, who was more worried. Thus started the most frustrating part of the wait.

Some companies straight away eliminated students on basis of CG, with very silly tests. In an exam, where the questions where

“1. How many sides does a triangle have?

2. What is 2563+3682? [Don’t use a calculator]

3. What are the three types of rocks?” what could be the basis of a shortlist?

Some companies sent me back straight after the written test. Out of blue came an offer from a company that offered me a job on the basis of my CG. I felt happy for the first time. [One fact they didn’t know was that I had taken their test and failed to make it to the shortlist. I was in a special shortlist for 9 pointers.] But with two famous companies coming the next days, where I rated my chances to be high, I declined to make a decision then and there. I asked for time and came back to room delighted that my CG worked finally.

The most hopeful day proved to be an equally big disaster. I didn’t have enough credentials for the good ones. In one GD, I spoke too much knowing that I can’t make it in the technical round. For the second one, my resume was cup-level. Got to know how badly I wrote it only after I opened it to see what I have written. I regretted my carelessness. During the resume submissions-exams, projects, what else and what not took precedence and I didn’t realize that I was seriously compromising on my career when carelessly filling up resumes. When I read my resume that I had filled up, I hardly doubted the fact that I won’t make it. In the GD, I got carried away by a friend, and both of us where out after that round.

Since that day, it was the same story every day. Go to GD, cup and come back. Financial Services, Investment Banks and Consulting Firms-every one drove me crazy. Almost to the point that I started doubting if there was some thing seriously wrong with me, which made me unemployable.

On the eighth day I left home for the vacation. My eyes watered as I cycled to the main gate. In the place where I lived happily for three years, life seemed to be like hell. It only seemed to show me that I was leaving like a loser. I had no ego to be pacified nor did I expect to be trend-setter, just a decent job in the first week was all that I wanted. I had no other back-ups, and at one point of time started regretting the fact that I was not apping.

I was equally undone at home. Though my parents were caring and understanding, some sense of guilt haunted me every minute. I could not stay calm and was so much lost in thought that at one point of time, my father said “Don’t worry, we have our traditional job if you don’t get one. God will take care of everything.” I spent equally uncomfortable time in Hyderabad, when I went there to visit my uncle. Memories of my days at Ramaiah, which was an equal failure came flooding in, and decapitated me still. My uncle sensing all this provided me solace with his encouraging words. I found the quickest opportunity to return to IITM and preferred spending days in front of my monitor rather than at home.

And finally I made it, on the first day of second innings. A company that didn’t want people to fight against each other in a GD, granted me an interview and the rest as they say is history.

And finally the wait ends

Finally the most excruciating wait has ended. I am placed in Deloitte Consulting, Hyderabad. Back to the old place. I will start posting, once I meet my BTP prof and return from home. So, readers please be patient for a while.

Thank you.

terribly struck up

I am sorry for not being able to post since a month. BTP yet to be started, Minor project pending and endsems looming large have prevented me from writing anything. But I promise to come back and do something about this.

The girl at the cafe

It was during the third week of my intern, somewhere in the first week of June. It had been raining since three days and since I forgot taking my umbrella, I was having a really difficult time. Though getting wet in rain didn’t bother me, it was the chemicals in the complex that made me worried. I had a slight itching sensation right after I got wet in the first rain. That brought me to my senses and made me give up the idea of getting wet in rains there. After coming back from office, Kaka and I decided to go out to buy umbrellas. We had already inquired at a shop nearby but it didn’t have much varieties. All that the old shopkeeper had was a very big umbrella which he kept insisting that we should buy as it is very useful.

It started to rain slowly by the time we started. We walked to the main road and got into an auto going to Athwalines. We inquired the auto driver about umbrellas and he started narrating all the places where we can get umbrellas. He told us that we will not get them at Athwalines and promised to take us to a shop in Park Street where we could get them at affordable prices. We told him that we had no idea whatsoever of the place and he told that he would drop us back at Mysore café where we were planning to have our dinner.

He took us to a shop, talked to the shop keeper and helped us buy two umbrellas and dropped us back at Mysore café, all for thirty rupees and we were lost in admiration of auto drivers of Surat. We talked about the auto drivers of Chennai and the exorbitant fares they demand. Finally we were at Mysore café for the first time. It was half past nine and the place was relatively empty.

The hotel looked like just another traditional hotel from south India. The white washed walls, narrow and small rooms. A photo of goddess Lakshmi with a small oil lamp lit before in a rack just above the proprietor’s desk, gave it a southy touch.

We sat there relishing the plain dosa and talking to each other about our likes and dislikes and various eatables. It was a small room, just after entering the hotel. There was another room with a board “Families only” inside. I was sitting facing the door of that “families only” room. Once or twice I turned around to look for the waiter and I felt that some one was watching me. At first I couldn’t make out who it was, but my eyes started searching even while talking to Kaka.

It was then I found her looking at me. I was not sure at first, and felt uncomfortable. I looked away and kept on talking. After a few minutes, I felt like looking back and make sure if she was still looking at me. I turned and my eyes met her eyes, still looking at me. That sent a small chill down my spine. I was never used to girls looking at me. After all mine was just an average face and I looked like any other guy. And I even gave up putting my trademark “Namam” in Gujarat owing to the communal sensitivity of the place. Hence there should have been nothing that differentiated me from the rest. The discovery that there was a girl staring at me made me uncomfortable.

The only other and the first time this ever happened was in Chennai, right in front of the gates of my college. That was a very long time back. I don’t remember the date exactly. It was around 11o clock on some Saturday morning, and I was returning to my college back from Hotchips with a cup of coffee in my hand. Then I noticed a girl, a pillion rider of her father’s scooter, looking at me. They were coming down the flyover in the opposite direction and I spotted her looking at me. The scooter moved past, but she still kept looking at me. After the scooter crossed me and moved past well behind me, I turned back to see if she was still looking. In fact I found her still “looking”. That brought a smile onto my lips and I told my self “Parledu raa, ninnu choosey valloo unnaru.” [Don’t worry man; there are girls who look even at you.]

And then this girl, sitting beside her parents and boldly looking at me! After I saw that she was still looking at me, I kept glancing at her, making some incoherent talk, to which Kaka was attentively listening. A moment later, I gathered enough courage to lock my eyes with hers and I stared hard in her face. To my surprise, she didn’t turn her face away. She kept looking at me, into my face and I could take it no longer. I turned away, finished my eating and started to leave. I gave a final glance, looked at her and wanted to say a “good bye” with my eyes. To my disappointment her father was talking to her and she was listening. I had an impulsive feeling to and speak to her, but I didn’t dare to. And soon we left the place and were back to our apartments.

In my room, I sat thinking of her. She had a good looking face and I am not the sort to assess other things. Her nose was thin and looked properly set in between two sharp eyes. Her fair complexion contrasted well with the burkha she was wearing. And I tried hard to memorize her face, pixel by pixel. She boosted my self confidence and the sense of pride which, I am sure would by the common feeling for anyone after such an experience. After that I lost the sense of shyness and started feeling great.

I remember her face, and will remember it forever. The face of a fairy that brought joy to my life and made me feel good. I want to meet this girl too. If I meet her again [hope she is reading this], I will only tell her one thing……

“Thank you, madam. You made me feel great.”